IF – and the thing is wildly possible – the charge of
writing nonsense were ever brought against the author of this
brief but instructive poem, it would be based, I feel
convinced, on the line
"Then the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder
sometimes:"
In view of this painful possibility, I will not (as I might)
appeal indignantly to my other writings as a proof that I am
incapable of such a deed: I will not (as I might) point to the
strong moral purpose of this poem itself, to the arithmetical
principles so cautiously inculcated in it, or to its noble
teachings in Natural History – I will take the more prosaic
course of simply explaining how it happened.
The Bellman, who was almost morbidly sensitive about
appearances, used to have the bowsprit unshipped once or twice
a week to be revarnished; and it more than once happened, when
the time came for replacing it, that no one on board could
remember which end of the ship it belonged to. They knew it
was not of the slightest use to appeal to the Bellman about
it – he would only refer to his Naval Code, and read out in
pathetic tones Admiralty Instructions which none of them had
ever been able to understand – so it generally ended in its
being fastened on, anyhow, across the rudder. The helmsman*
used to stand by with tears in his eyes: he knew it was all
wrong, but alas! Rule 42 of the Code, "No one shall
speak to the Man at the Helm," had been completed by
the Bellman himself with the words "and the Man at the
Helm shall speak to no one." So remonstrance was
impossible, and no steering could be done till the next
varnishing day. During these bewildering intervals the ship
usually sailed backwards.
* This office was usually undertaken by the Boots, who
found in it a refuge from the Baker's constant complaints
about the insufficient blacking of his three pairs of boots.
As this poem is to some extent connected with the lay of
the Jabberwock, let me take this opportunity of answering a
question that has often been asked me, how to pronounce
"slithy toves." The "i" in
"slithy" is long, as in "writhe"; and
"toves" is pronounced so as to rhyme with
"groves." Again, the first "o" in
"borogoves" is pronounced like the "o" in
"borrow." I have heard people try to give it the
sound of the "o" in "worry." Such is
Human Perversity.
This also seems a fitting occasion to notice the other
hard words in that poem. Humpty-Dumpty's theory, of two
meanings packed into one word like a portmanteau, seems to
me the right explanation for all.
For instance, take the two words "fuming" and
"furious." Make up your mind that you will say
both words, but leave it unsettled which you will say
first. Now open your mouth and speak. If your thoughts incline
ever so little towards "fuming," you will say
"fuming-furious"; if they turn, by even a hair's
breadth, towards "furious," you will say
"furious-fuming"; but if you have that rarest of
gifts, a perfectly balanced mind, you will say
"frumious."
Supposing that, when Pistol uttered the well-known
words –
"Under which king, Bezonian? Speak or die!"
Justice Shallow had felt certain that it was either
William or Richard, but had not been able to settle which,
so that he could not possibly say either name before the
other, can it be doubted that, rather than die, he would have
gasped out "Rilchiam!"